Why is it that while everyone around me is going out with someone, I'm stuck with no one liking me?

This may sound like a shallow question, which I'm sure it is. But I'm a teenage girl, I'm allowed to lack depth sometimes right? It's like a rite of passage.





Everyone else seems to have guys panting after them. But why don't boys like me?





I think I'm pretty, conceited as it sounds, and apparently so do others, because I get compliments from people all the time.





I have nice hair too, naturally wavy and always kept clean and usually down.





Blue eyes, pale skin, if a bit pinky when it's cold. I have glasses but I wear contacts almost 24/7.





I happen to think I have a really flattering style of clothing. Not too slutty but nice fitting enough to show off my curves, which are moderate I suppose.





I do extremely well in school with little effort and enjoy lots of afterschool activities.





My main faults are that I used to have acne that is mostly cleared up now and that I sometimes act a little mean to boys with an idiotic sense of humour.





Now, what is wrong with me?
Why is it that while everyone around me is going out with someone, I'm stuck with no one liking me?
Well, since most boys around your age tend to have an idiotic sense of humor, I suspect you don't leave many out, and that might be intimidating.





Also, my personal experience with acne was that my skin improved long before my confidence did.





Now let's start with one fact. Everyone else does NOT have guys panting after them. But it's true some nearly always do. Meanwhile, the numbers dictate that there are always a bunch of people going through "a dry spell" at any given time.





But perhaps you are offputting in some way. It's hard to get people to give you constructive criticism on this subject, often because, if they care enough about you in the first place they might be afraid they will make you feel worse. But it shouldn't really. Every one of us has problem areas, and life doesn't improve until we know what we can be working on.





The best suggestion I can give you is a double edged sword. You need to study people's responses to you, but you cannot be ruled by that.





It wasn't until I was in my 20's that I noticed/realized that people's compliments and complaints about me were really very consistant. My response to a criticism had always been "Yes, but...". Now, it is "yes". It has helped me not waste my time definding some things about myself not worth defending! lol





Hope that helps a bit?
Why is it that while everyone around me is going out with someone, I'm stuck with no one liking me?
dont be fake


worse thing u can do lol
Reply:You're not alone. I feel the same way too sometimes, but really, you need to concentrate on your life, not everybody elses. That sounds a bit cruel, but you shouldn't concentrate on your faults. Don't you want a boyfriend that will like you for who YOU are? Guys don't concentrate on love relationships as much as girls do, and usually think you're good friends when girls are fawning over them, maybe you need to give your beau a hint? I really hope I helped, this is a tough topic for everyone. But geez, there's nothing wrong with you at all.
Reply:thats the reason why your conceited no man likes conceited woman unless he knows how to handle or deal with them
Reply:lol, sorry, but my bet would be that boys just don't like your personality if you look alright and nobody wants to date you.
Reply:You very well may be intimidating to boys. Based on your description of yourself, you sound like an attractive and intelligent girl. Of cours, we think those are the qualities that boys should be interested in... but some boys aren't secure enough in their own appearance, or intelligence, to pursue such a girl.





Those men, they're not even worth wasting your time on.





Your young, and I know you've probably heard that already, but your dating pool is still immature. So I say, take initiative. Based on your description, you sound to be confident and happy with yourself, if you see a boy you're interested in... make a move.
Reply:I agree, don't be fake. But from the looks of it your just being honest. I bet there is someone who has romantic feelings for you. But you probalay just don't know them or dosen't see their feelings towards you.
Reply:Well, if you are still in high school, you are still quite young. And don't compare yourself with others who are dating. You are unique and different, a one of a kind, and probably wiser. Focus on your good points. If you have a busy schedule and are involved in after school activities, then it is just a matter of time b/f you get noticed. If not, so what. Sooner or later, you will be noticed. In the meantime, enjoy the good life. If you need to "ventilate" on Y/A, then feel free to do so. lol
Reply:well, it's got to be your attitude. Maybe you don't realize how you carry yourself. Sometimes the boys who act idiotic do it because they like you and it braces them in case they get rejected. Mean attitude could give them the flag that it's no-go. But it doesn't seem you'd want these boys anyways.





Try to study your friends a little and see how they act around men and try to emulate it a bit. With practice it'll become more easy. And also do you see any guys you like? Don't wait, approach and ask one out (or more) out...maybe they are a bit intimidated by you, especially because you seem to have beauty and a brain.
Reply:It sounds to me as if you might just be talking yourself out of getting to know new people. Could it be that you look for signals that people like you early on in any encounter and if you don't see any in the early stages then you give up? If you are telling yourself you are not liked and looking for evidence to prove that thought right, then you are probably giving up too quickly. Try overriding any such self-talk with the message that the people you are talking to don't know you, and that if they did they would probably accept and like you as those who know you better do. How you see others and how they see you, is rather like a loop, and if you could turn the current negative loop into a positive one then things will change. Try just looking in a mirror and start thinking about an encounter where you felt the person was rejecting you - take note of your facial expressions. Then do the same but this time imagine you are telling your mum something that amuses her - note the expression on your face. Your face is an important source of signals when you are interacting with someone. Getting a little tongue tied or stumbling over your words now and then is no big deal. My guess is that when this happens you have divided your attention between making conversation and self-monitoring, i.e. trying to look down on your encounter from the ceiling. It's a bit like watching yourself in the reflection of a shopwindow as you ride past it on your bike - before you know it you're swerving to avoid the car in front that has stopped. Try being as "present" as you can when talking to people and imagine that they are an old friend that has known you for years but you've met having lost touch and now you need to catch up - if you project acceptance in your manner, you are far more likely to find acceptance in others. Try the above as if you are doing social research and each encounter is an experiment to test out this theory.





Good luck

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